pickpocket DC

sunday night i had the opportunity to join a cluster fuck in DC - a mob of people insistent on leaving H and 4th via the Chinatown bus, which they had bought tickets for, only New Century is run by a throng of clowns in designer jeans, and attempts to get on the bus were by and large fruitless.

at some point within the cluster i got repeatedly jostled by a mysteriously dopey man, who in hindsight was point man 1, pushing me into man 2 - an old grizzly bear in track pants and an "I heart DC" t-shirt. man 2 or "thief" was in a bad spot - hungry or super drugged i know not which, sometimes these conditions look really similar. anyway something felt wrong and i kind of turned around and saw this dude with his hand rummaging through my bag. we both kind of froze and i gave him my best animal-inspired "what the fuck" face and then pivoted around to grip both bags and grab my phone. man 2 scampered away, probably nervous that i was going to call the police, except that i know better to call the DC police because last time i did that they asked me for my social security number, and when i wouldn't give it to them things got awkward and then they hung up.

its a doggy heat, doggy beat tustle of a fucking world out there, i cannot hate on a man for spotting an opportunity to grab some shit. little did he know that inside of my wallet was 80 cents and a member card to the Y. in any case i wish him well. also im thankful to still have my wallet.

you ate the summer cannibals

eateateat

about job searching in summer of 2010

"I wanted to let you know that we have filled the position with someone whose experience and education more closely match our requirements for the position."

2 years ago, drunk

onetime cereal came to new york a lot, and it was super fun. i do not regret that she is no longer with a new york boyfriend, i simply miss her presence in this fair city. also when jessie was around things got to no limits party-time and this picture is from one of those nights. this is after tequila and sangria and a j and a jessie. this picture also reminds me of a magical fact from this evening, and that is that in the middle of our celebratory splendor, after having hazily wandered into a random corner of the LES, i got a call from andrew who was inexplicably also in LES. and from what i recall i was like, im super drunk, im in a bar, there were bushes out front, there are lights in the bar, find me. and then my phone died or his phone died, it was all very confusing.

amanda was sleeping at the table.

but then like 20 minutes later andrew walks in, and i always forget to ask but seriously i have no idea how that wizard found us. magicman.

little boobs

it's summer duh even though its not whatever the fuck june 21? first official? i care not - it's sweaty ball season and you can wear sandals and dresses so it's summer. i got burned eating breakfast on my roof so it's summer.

usually summertime marks the beginning of no drawers lyfe - i freeball, you know this. but lately there's been something new in my underwear routine that i wanted to talk about live on the internet. and that is no bra, or rather, abbreviated versions of the bra. listen, i have the littlest boobs that ever were. they are often rivaled by fifth graders, not that i am looking but just i mean, it's hearsay. when i was younger this was a source of severe booby consternation, and i hated my body and i wished my hair was blue and my name was tammy. but i grew out of wanting to be named "tammy" and i have grown out of wanting bigger boobs, which is why i stick to a new regime - no bra or sports bra.

the easy life.

and i have to be honest about something. i fucking love the way my little tiniest boobs ever look with minimal bra interference - i think they are special this way. i feel lustier this way, and summertime is all for lust and sun and iced tea and biting your boyfriend on the beard. or whatever you want to do, it's your summer.

2.5 years ago cannibal

i will not mince words - the job search is fucking rough. please see below for an example of an entry level position in DC:

Salary will be commensurate with the amount of an applicant's relevant experience. For example, an individual with five years of relevant experience, including a 2-year master’s program in a relevant topic, would earn $30,000 to $35,000

for starters motherfuckers, folks with 5+ years of experience plus their masters in a relevant topic most likely have accrued more than $35,000 dollars worth of debt, and need a lil more than 35 large to cover rent, food, transportation, and student loans. not to mention that for entry level, you in theory need to have 5 years of experience plus relevant master's. not to mention, i don't even want this job. sike i do sort of but really honestly i just want to operate a food service truck.

i mean you no disrespect, but eat shit