from the roof: bk/nyc
sbuttons
mating behaviors in the wild
2 turtles
russian pickles
phish food
rainbowbeard
5.30.2009
weekend pt II
from the roof: bk/nycsbuttonsmating behaviors in the wild2 turtlesrussian picklesphish foodrainbowbeard
5.29.2009
i reached down
to open my backpack zipper and there was a wetness unlike when i usually open my backpack zipper. on my fingers was a goobely googer - it was gooey but not sticky and green-black like rotten spinach.
unclear as to how this got on my zipper, was it an indication of the swine? EWGROSS i said to the googer and then wiped it off on some brown paper (i was in the 14th street subway station, there is no reliable place to wash except in the track puddles) just then the train came, but it was not mine. but from the train emerged lou reed(s sister) - a woman that looked not so much like herself but like lou reed. i was so taken with the lou reedman that i followed her up the stairs with my eyes, just in time to see the ball of human hair float downward from the staircase, down down, onto another woman's face
this was not your average ball of human hair, no, this was a compilation of all human hair from every human in the subway that was tangled like a tumbleweed and floating on the train-winds. the woman looked surprised when something gently brushed her face but she did not see what it was. and that is. worse than a goobley.
unclear as to how this got on my zipper, was it an indication of the swine? EWGROSS i said to the googer and then wiped it off on some brown paper (i was in the 14th street subway station, there is no reliable place to wash except in the track puddles) just then the train came, but it was not mine. but from the train emerged lou reed(s sister) - a woman that looked not so much like herself but like lou reed. i was so taken with the lou reedman that i followed her up the stairs with my eyes, just in time to see the ball of human hair float downward from the staircase, down down, onto another woman's face
this was not your average ball of human hair, no, this was a compilation of all human hair from every human in the subway that was tangled like a tumbleweed and floating on the train-winds. the woman looked surprised when something gently brushed her face but she did not see what it was. and that is. worse than a goobley.
5.28.2009
sara- solved it
sara's eyes fell into her lentil soup and purtle tried to fix it by putting his goldfish into her eyes but now she can't blog anymore because she only sees golden
zanga
still thursday. just confronted by HR as being the sole reason for the internet being so slow. is it possible that my extra-curricular work activities are responsible for making everyone's internet time out for the past 2 weeks?
NAY! not unless my inactivity has begun leaching into the wires, friends.
NAY! not unless my inactivity has begun leaching into the wires, friends.
question II
all i want to do is write songs but not sing them. does that make me piper perabo in coyote ugs? perabo pictured here - dead:
hey jessie try these
they might help you avoid enormous road obstructions while you're on the smelly. also, congratulations on still being alive, we're all pulling for you
5.27.2009
last night
i had night terrors that took me from philadelphia to boston to the edge of the world so this morning i went to this ice cream store that i used to work for and they gave me a pumpkin-banana-chocolate chip muffin which tastes delishy like a gingerbread jungle.
*side note, one time juliana was in guatemala and her host dad offered her some bananas and she was like, "haha, look at these adorable little tiny adorable bananas" and the banana man was like, "all of our big bananas get shipped to america" *
then when i got on the train there was a man and a boy both wearing blue and gold sneakers and both wearing desert camo army pants like little matching soldiers and i was thinking about how they start them young loving war but also, isn't it great that some people are republicans so that their offspring can be our army, because certainly i am not doing it, nor is basically anyone that i know.
i mentioned this argument to someone recently and they said, well there should not be armies because there should not be war, and in a floral world i agree that there should not be war, but then i think
wait
we are all of us simply animals and that means that we want to do this:
fight flee fuck and fucking feed
and that means that we will always war, regardless of any peaceful aspirations. well then i said goodbye to those army boys and switched to the R train, where a man was wearing a military jacket that said BFP like my friend, Benjamin France - Polonius, but when I looked it up on the Free Dictionary of Acronyms, it apparently means "Bureau of Fire Protection" in the Philippines, or "Big Fat Positive" whence referring to a pregnancy test that is positive so you are big fat pregnant.
So while admiring this gentleman's BFP coat there was also simultaneously a crazy woman who was singing a jangle and then she began to sing to me these sweet words, "You ain't naaaaa" , "You ain't naaaaa" and then I fought her and that is war.
*side note, one time juliana was in guatemala and her host dad offered her some bananas and she was like, "haha, look at these adorable little tiny adorable bananas" and the banana man was like, "all of our big bananas get shipped to america" *
then when i got on the train there was a man and a boy both wearing blue and gold sneakers and both wearing desert camo army pants like little matching soldiers and i was thinking about how they start them young loving war but also, isn't it great that some people are republicans so that their offspring can be our army, because certainly i am not doing it, nor is basically anyone that i know.
i mentioned this argument to someone recently and they said, well there should not be armies because there should not be war, and in a floral world i agree that there should not be war, but then i think
wait
we are all of us simply animals and that means that we want to do this:
fight flee fuck and fucking feed
and that means that we will always war, regardless of any peaceful aspirations. well then i said goodbye to those army boys and switched to the R train, where a man was wearing a military jacket that said BFP like my friend, Benjamin France - Polonius, but when I looked it up on the Free Dictionary of Acronyms, it apparently means "Bureau of Fire Protection" in the Philippines, or "Big Fat Positive" whence referring to a pregnancy test that is positive so you are big fat pregnant.
So while admiring this gentleman's BFP coat there was also simultaneously a crazy woman who was singing a jangle and then she began to sing to me these sweet words, "You ain't naaaaa" , "You ain't naaaaa" and then I fought her and that is war.
5.26.2009
what's with
everyone going to weddings? i've only ever been to my parent's weddings. they were in black and white.
this weekend pt 1
my family sent me a ton of pictures - what's better than pictures? here is a sampling:
my cousin's prom in la. he's the one that is devastatingly handsome in sunglasses and his date is arguably wearing the best dress.
this is a picture from my mom of butterflies mating
nancy sent me this picture of woodwork
my mom sent me this email labeled "for the girls". are you frothing at the mouth yet? no? oh, is it because there is a creep dressed in fucking angel's wings?
this is my stepmom's new plant - she named him "doodlebug"
my brother in a vineyard. he <3's wine, i mean he's a professional winer.
my cousin's prom in la. he's the one that is devastatingly handsome in sunglasses and his date is arguably wearing the best dress. 
this is a picture from my mom of butterflies mating
nancy sent me this picture of woodwork
my mom sent me this email labeled "for the girls". are you frothing at the mouth yet? no? oh, is it because there is a creep dressed in fucking angel's wings?
this is my stepmom's new plant - she named him "doodlebug"
my brother in a vineyard. he <3's wine, i mean he's a professional winer.
5.25.2009
miraculous
"Design in nature is but a consecration of accidents, culled by natural selection until the result is so beautiful or effective as to seem a miracle of purpose"
-M Pollan
5.22.2009
BPB - for Anthony, I'm giving it a try, ok?
Last night we saw Bonnie Prince Billy at the Apollo theater in Harlem, USA. There was some initial trepidation about it being a seated show, but if something is going to be seated, it should be seated at the Apollo.
Bonnie Prince Billy is a shy man. He takes the stage in darkness, there is no introduction save for a yodeled, "okee dokke" and then suddenly you are traveling through time, you are rhythmically stomping on the oak-floored barn, there is a jangle in your tangle and nothing else matters except the call and response of Billy and his band. Will Oldham is part stringless puppet, part countrified leprechaun. His head swivels in time to the beating drums, arms pulled and swung in accordance with an invisible rhythm-master, all the while kicking and booming and crouching and hooting. He is a shape-shifter, a mountain goat posing as man.
Cheyenne Mize accompanies him on vocals and the "fiddle". She is a sweet apple pie filled with tabasco and strife; her country-hemmed dress hides the axe in her garter belt. She tangles with Oldham's torture, she delights in the epic peaks and tortured descents of love and life that Oldham effortless paints - in summing up the recent ending of a modern romance he laments, "I open this awful machine to nothing / where once your intimacies came pounding"
Christ, he's singing about when you don't fucking email, you asshole.
In "Strange Form of Life" Oldham and Mize climax together and apart - a boy and a girl sifting through space, loving each other and loving themselves, kissing in hopes of "forgetting the strange and the hard".
Last night in Harlem Will Oldham and his rollicking gang of strings and percussion reminded an astounded audience that jesus god, we're just blood and guts, alone and together, for better of worse. May it always be.
Bonnie Prince Billy is a shy man. He takes the stage in darkness, there is no introduction save for a yodeled, "okee dokke" and then suddenly you are traveling through time, you are rhythmically stomping on the oak-floored barn, there is a jangle in your tangle and nothing else matters except the call and response of Billy and his band. Will Oldham is part stringless puppet, part countrified leprechaun. His head swivels in time to the beating drums, arms pulled and swung in accordance with an invisible rhythm-master, all the while kicking and booming and crouching and hooting. He is a shape-shifter, a mountain goat posing as man.
Cheyenne Mize accompanies him on vocals and the "fiddle". She is a sweet apple pie filled with tabasco and strife; her country-hemmed dress hides the axe in her garter belt. She tangles with Oldham's torture, she delights in the epic peaks and tortured descents of love and life that Oldham effortless paints - in summing up the recent ending of a modern romance he laments, "I open this awful machine to nothing / where once your intimacies came pounding"
Christ, he's singing about when you don't fucking email, you asshole.
In "Strange Form of Life" Oldham and Mize climax together and apart - a boy and a girl sifting through space, loving each other and loving themselves, kissing in hopes of "forgetting the strange and the hard".
Last night in Harlem Will Oldham and his rollicking gang of strings and percussion reminded an astounded audience that jesus god, we're just blood and guts, alone and together, for better of worse. May it always be.
today, friday
washed my hair with the baby shampoo that is in the shower at the cat sitting house
ate one chocolate donut.
bristol palin is on the cover of people magazine
in case you can't see, she says, "if girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex." that's true. sex is really dangerous if you can't man up and boot your fettie. sex is also really dangerous in alaska because your nipples can get frozen, it's really cold. it's also really dangerous to assume that girls are the only ones having sex, because there are boys and men and women who are having sex and it rules, brist.
happy friday!
ate one chocolate donut.
bristol palin is on the cover of people magazine
in case you can't see, she says, "if girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex." that's true. sex is really dangerous if you can't man up and boot your fettie. sex is also really dangerous in alaska because your nipples can get frozen, it's really cold. it's also really dangerous to assume that girls are the only ones having sex, because there are boys and men and women who are having sex and it rules, brist. happy friday!
5.21.2009
5.20.2009
evo
“We evolved as social primates who hardly ever encountered strangers in prehistory,” Dr. Miller says. “So we instinctively treat all strangers as if they’re potential mates or friends or enemies. But your happiness and survival today don’t depend on your relationships with strangers. It doesn’t matter whether you get a nanosecond of deference from a shopkeeper or a stranger in an airport.”
ooops
i really want to see the new terminator movie and tomorrow i'm seeing bonnie prince billy at the apollo!
5-20!!!!!!!!!!
today is a special day
today is a special holiday
today is the holiday 5/20
on 5/20 we quit our jobs
on 5/20 we meet in the park
we show our nipples and beat on drums skins
we eat ice cream for breakfast we lick each other's beards
5/20 is a for serious holiday we smoke weed and poke baby's bellies
for supper there will be spaghetti and fun
happy holidays
today is a special holiday
today is the holiday 5/20
on 5/20 we quit our jobs
on 5/20 we meet in the park
we show our nipples and beat on drums skins
we eat ice cream for breakfast we lick each other's beards
5/20 is a for serious holiday we smoke weed and poke baby's bellies
for supper there will be spaghetti and fun
happy holidays
5.19.2009
got-chu
if i gave birth to twin albino pygmy monkeys instead of a real human baby, i would not even be mad
i fucking lost my license
to get a new one i have to walk through fire hoops and become impregnated from witches anus. i'm going to be the kid at the bar with the passport, that's me. F. in the meantime, i hope whoever has my license is having a rollicking good fucking time buying beer for everyone at preschool hrrumph.
this weekend i tried to see a dan deacon show at bowery and the bouncer out front had fangs and asked for my ID, and i was like, sir, i do not have an ID, however i am 25, but by accident i was wearing a blue poufy flowered dress, and he gave me a scandlous glare and informed me that i was not 25, and the thing is that i was ready to admit that i was lying, even though by all accounts i was born in 1984.
this weekend i tried to see a dan deacon show at bowery and the bouncer out front had fangs and asked for my ID, and i was like, sir, i do not have an ID, however i am 25, but by accident i was wearing a blue poufy flowered dress, and he gave me a scandlous glare and informed me that i was not 25, and the thing is that i was ready to admit that i was lying, even though by all accounts i was born in 1984.
peacock flounder
do you guys know about peacock flounder? they are great sneakers because they blend into their surroundings to flummox predators and prey.
this scientist wanted to know how these flounder adapted to their surroundings - was it super smart skin? so he hand created crazy backgrounds like plaid in laboratories, and the fish STILL changed to mimic the patterns that they were near, and so the scientist found out that brains conquer all.
brains.
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