earlier i declined these cookies on the premise of being healthy, but looking down i spy chocolate smeared into my shirt
last night i went into the weight room on the premise of lifting weights - you know, the 8lbers, but then i sat across from this giant and he started lifting 300 pounds and shrieking and i finished my routine and quietly left
last week i asked the dj to play some daft punk, instead he says "SRSLY!?" and then played the circus. by now he's probably dead.
this morning i tried arm-wrestling the doorman because he looked a little soft but he killed me.
